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All I wanted was a can of rice pudding. After a long day I wanted a reward. Not a drink. Not dope. Just some rice pudding.

In other stores I’ve seen cans of rice pudding beside the Devon cream near the condensed milk or in the baking goods section.

I thought of her, who I lost, and how she would heat pudding and serve it topped with Devon cream. I wondered who she was serving now.

The staff had no clue. One said aisle 13 with a blank stare.
‘Isn’t it with the pudding?’ said the one with centipede eyebrows.
I was determined to find the rice pudding section.

A woman without a shopping cart or purse or umbrella studied a jar in aisle 13 and then a bag in the organic section freezer. I figured she was the store detective or an immigrant figuring things out or maybe somebody lonely looking to get picked up.

I checked every possible location. No luck.

I walked away half an hour later in the rain wondering what sort of loser looks for rice pudding at ten o’clock on a Saturday night.

I thought of Rumi saying sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
But I didn’t have any cleverness to sell.